Pictured above - messy bed, no time to make it, have a garden of flowers to plant and a cranky baby to keep happy all at the same time, but loving life every dirty, messy step of the way.
Currently I am a Work From Home Mom - not a SAHM - a WORK from home mom. I think all mom's have this title, but that's another topic for a different day.
Every day is a new adventure in this house - oh, to be clear, my studio is home-based so I can live my dream of being a mom, while living my dream of making art out of flowers.
Every day presents a new challenge to juggle all my job titles: mom, housekeeper, chef, wife, business owner, and flower artist. I love every one of my jobs, but each one has its difficulties. Mostly, because each title crossfades into the next, they are all happening at once, always, and managing them all is worth a six figure salary - if only!
Days at The Posy Pantry usually start out with tons of coffee, playing with my son and making breakfast - all while maintaining my social media presence, editing photos, and responding to business emails. It can be an absolute blast to juggle all these things at once, but it can also be overwhelming. Not one day is perfect. Each day has its moments of beauty and flow, with chaos and whining, teething, blow-outs and vases full of flowers spilling-all-over-the-wall-floor, mixed in with the rest.
Today I am going to reveal to you a real life example of what a day looks like for me as a mom and independent-woman-running-her-dream-business-all-at-the-same-time - WHEW!
5:55AM - Calvin, my son, awakes crying, I nurse him, we fall back to sleep.
7:00AM - Calvin is playing with daddy, I wake up, take Maggie (our pup) to go potty, play on the bed as a family, then get the coffee going, first cup is always black.
8:00AM - Second cup of coffee pours out of the Keurig, creamer flows in, the day is about to be slayeddddd.
8:01AM - Calvin starts incessantly whining and crying - he cannot handle me setting him down for more that 3 minutes at a time, boy pandemic is making him clingy!
9-11AM - ten different bouquet arrangements, buckets of clippings, snip, snip, snip the leaves, wrap, wrap, wrap the stems, trim the stems, dip the stems in water, snap, snap, snap photos, pick up Calvin, nurse Calvin, distract Calvin, change Calvin, eat a snack, take the dog out, tidy the kitchen, sweep the floors so Calvin doesn't eat any flower parts, find a missing stem in Calvin's mouth, scoop it out, wash it out, hold him while rearranging more flowers, bump a vase, watch it spill everywhere, preview the photoshoot photos, half of the 500 are unusable due to blurriness because I am my content manager and photographer and have zero training.
11:05AM - Self doubt floods in, a professional beautiful photo of a well-established large floral design company in the SAME city as me, with the most gorgeous arrangements flood my Instagram feed. Then another, then another, then another.
11:10AM - I scroll, I like it, my heat sinks, as my eyes rest on the most beautiful floral arrangements, one after the other.
11:15AM - Tears roll down my face, my hair is disheveled, no makeup, there's avocado all over my shirt from Calvin's quick snack while I arranged my flowers to order, flowers that look nothing like these incredible modern arrangements, that reach and flow, photographed with perfect lighting in a studio, lights, perfect backdrop to contrast the flowers. I look at my "studio," my living room, my white sheet pinned to the wall as my backdrop, I sigh.
11:30AM - Total and utter disappointment, self-disdain, doubt, sadness, gloom - Calvin wants to go outside, we play in the sun, we look at our garden, we water the flowers and play together. His smile, two little teeth popping up, eyes blue and glowing, diaper sagging, needs to be changed, but nothing else matters, but that happy face, that happy smile, the "dadadadada" coming out of his mouth and the crawling, standing, chewing on the patio furniture, beautiful. He holds me close when I carry him, rubbing his face into my neck, muttering and moaning, just wanting mommy.
NOON - Back at it, refreshed, Calvin is napping, flowers are fluffed back alive, the floor is swept, the clippings are taken out to the compost, better light streams in through my skylight and shines down on the bouquets ready for a new round of shooting. I got this, I can do this, I am doing this for me, for my clients, for those in my community who need something beautiful in their life.
1-4PM - Calvin is awake again, happy, playing independently with a package of wipes, hey, whatever makes him happy, I receive a new bouquet order, feeling relieved, elated, validated, I make lunch, unload the dishwasher, start a new load of laundry, rearrange some furniture in the guest room, take Calvin and Maggie out for a walk in the sunshine, we return, laugh with my husband, share with him the positives and the negatives of the day, pour myself a giant glass of water and crank some inspiring music.
5-MIDNIGHT - Dinner, family walk, home tidy, Calvin bath, Calvin nurses, cuddles on the couch watching Little Bear while I peruse tomorrow's flower inspiration ideas, more bouquet orders scheduled for the next week, posy subscription reminders popping up on my phone, Market next week needs to be quick and strategic, Calvin goes down for bed, Ryan (my hubs) and I spend some time together, watch Tiger King while I write, edit, change my website, tweak some bouquets, and open up the windows for the house to cool down (no AC, it's Portland, who has AC?), twilight has finally hit the windows, the house is calm, I finish up working on my little dream in bed, make my list and map out tomorrow's deliveries, as my two other dreams snooze peacefully beside me, contentment fills my soul and I am reminded of why I do, what I do.
The Posy Pantry is not just a place, a website, a service, The Posy Pantry is ME, all the beauty and dishevelment, the flowers and the dust that goes with it. I will not give up, I will not back down, I will keep fighting for ALL the things that make me, me: Pauline, wife, mom, housekeeper, chef, flower artist, gardener, landscaper, interior designer, photographer, web designer, marketer, small business owner, woman.
I hope my rawness didn't scare you - I hope it does the opposite, I hope it empowers you.
all the best,
pauline